


Call Your Name

by littlesnowpea



Category: Goon (2011)
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Prostitution, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-18
Updated: 2012-05-18
Packaged: 2017-11-05 13:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlesnowpea/pseuds/littlesnowpea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Astraphobia is the fear of thunderstorms, and soup can't block out your hearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Your Name

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Xavier is a depressed asshole. Prostitution. Is 'google translate' a warning? Much as I love her, Eva couldn't exist in this fic. Rapid changes of point-of-view without much warning. Title from 'Call Your Name' by Daughtry. Un-Beta'd.
> 
> This is my first time posting my work to an actual forum, so I'm a little nervous.

“I’m a _fucking_ hockey player!” 

He was trying to convince himself, he knew it, but he ignored his logic and plowed ahead, punching Doug as hard as he fucking could.

He might as well have been punching the wall over there for as much effect it had, and pain shot up his arm.

He locked eyes with Doug, and felt immediately like throwing himself out the window.

\--

“I’m a _fucking_ hockey player!”

Not really, not even close, his brain reminded him daily. No, because _fucking_ hockey players don’t fucking _flinch_ whenever anyone skates close to them. _Fucking_ hockey players know their shit and have self respect and dignity, like fucking Glatt keeps going on and on and _on_ about whenever he happened to catch a glance of each guy leaving Xavier’s room.

He didn’t even remember what dignity felt like, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t two hundred dollars on his bedside table and Glatt’s impossible to read face every day. 

Xavier wasn’t a fucking hockey player, he was a fucking nothing and he knew it.

\--

Doug stared firmly ahead of him at his soup in the microwave, resolutely ignoring the sounds he heard from Xavier’s bedroom. His grip tightened automatically on his bottle of Gatorade and he took a deep breath when he heard the plastic start to crush in his hand. 

He didn’t really feel like soup anymore, but he couldn’t stay in his room and listen to whatever fucking lowlife Xavier managed to pick up call his friend disgusting names until it was clear Xavier wasn’t fucking him because he felt like it. 

Doug was kind of slow, he knew it, but it didn’t take a fucking genius to realize how Xavier got his money or why he seemed to be getting laid so often. Doug was a little late to arrive at this realization, but Ira helpfully called him a moron when he’d asked and told him flat out how much of a prostitute Xavier was.

(Doug punched the shit out of his brother after that and refused to speak to him until a few days after, when his now-sober brother apologized.)

The punching thing kind of confused him, and still does. It was new to him, sort of. Well, he was always the kind to punch first, ask questions second, but he’d never had that reaction _so strongly_ before, like he did whenever he heard Xavier being badmouthed or when he heard the shit he does through the wall. The punching thing even seemed to understand French, and Doug remembered with a violent surge of anger the fucking Quebec players and fans and the jeering calls that Doug could somehow understand. 

So yeah. Doug didn’t understand why he took everything about Xavier so personally and it kind of irritated and confused him, but he couldn’t ignore it. 

The microwaved beeped at him but Doug didn’t even hear it. He swallowed thickly and clenched his fist hard against the urge to go rip that _asshole_ off of Xavier. That would definitely not go over well. 

The click of the bedroom door almost made him jump but he forced it down and remained turned away from the living room. He didn’t trust himself not to lose his mind if he saw the asshole.

“Hey,” the guy called him, evidently having some sort of death wish. “You next?”

Doug gripped the counter so hard he was slightly afraid he would break it and shook his head slowly, back still to the stranger.

“You should be, he’s so fucking tight,” and Doug could HEAR the smirk on the other’s face and he was about to whirl around and fucking knock him out, but the front door slammed shut and Doug sent a furious fist into the cabinet instead.

\--

He hovered outside Xavier’s closed door. He’d tried to enter before, of course, a couple times to make sure he was alright, but each time he’d gotten an angry shove and French words he didn’t understand and he finally realized he wasn’t welcome there.

So, usually, he’d wait around to see if Xavier would come out and stick to his pattern. Xavier’s pattern was the only thing that finally convinced Doug that the French man was ok, this time. About fifteen minutes after the guy left, Xavier would quietly open his bedroom door, look around for Doug, and run to the kitchen and grab food before racing back like he was being timed. Doug wanted to leave something that would sustain the thin man, but he didn’t dare, because then Xavier would know that Doug knew, and that was a whole other Hell.

But it had been three _hours_ and Xavier hadn’t done it yet, and Doug couldn’t help but worry _constantly_ so here he was. Outside the door to the room he was 99% positive he wasn’t allowed to enter and praying this wouldn’t blow up in his face. 

He gingerly pushed it open and walked into the dark room, heart pounding and nervous beyond belief. He squinted towards the general direction of the bed, waiting for his vision to adjust.

“I’m fine.”

Xavier’s voice was hoarse and scratchy and Doug wished he’d brought water. His words were dull, no life, no anger even, and Doug was taken aback for a moment.

“I don’t believe you,” Doug protested, barely making out the lump under a thick blanket that was talking to him. He carefully walked over and hovered next to it, head cocked and eyes scanning for a actual human. 

“I _am,”_ Xavier insisted just as Doug’s vision finally cleared and he could see the smaller man’s face. He was lying, judging by the crease between his eyes and his clenched fists. Doug laid a trembling hand on Xavier’s ribs and the other man jumped before curling up with a low whine of pain. 

No he wasn’t, and Doug wasn’t going to let Xavier bully his way out of this one. 

“ _Tabarnak!!_ I said I’m _fine_ ,” Xavier hissed, reaching up blindly and trying to shove at Doug’s shoulder, but he had no energy and his hand quickly dropped to wrap back around himself. 

“What’s hurting?” Doug asked, ignoring Xavier’s protests. Xavier sighed, turning his face into the pillow, murmuring furiously in French.

“My back,” he finally, _finally_ answered, both words filled with what sounded like _shame_ and Doug wanted to murder that asshole that was in here. His eyes found a rolled bill on the floor and he reached down and picked it up and almost lost his mind.

A twenty. It was a fucking _twenty._ Xavier was in pain for a _twenty_ and Doug was going to fucking rip that man’s eyes out with his bare hands.

Xavier tried to roll away and Doug caught him, carefully pulling him back. 

“ _Tabarnak_ ,” Xavier’s voice was quiet, sad, frightened, and a billion other adjectives as he pleaded with Doug. “ _Tabarnak_ , please, please just go, please-”

“Shut up, Xavier,” Doug ordered. “I won’t.”

“Please-”

“Xavier, stop,” Doug interrupted and the other man fell silent. Xavier turned his face out a little bit, just enough to look up at Doug. Tears swam in his eyes but he furiously blinked them away, still staring resolutely up, like he was challenging Doug, daring him to move. 

Ok. Doug never backed down from a challenge, anyway. He slid his hands under Xavier’s side and pushed him over on the bed, as gently as possible. Xavier hissed- from pain or surprise, Doug wasn’t sure, and that familiar scowl was starting to set in again. Too damn bad.

“Make this easier, roll over on your stomach?” Doug requested quietly. Xavier swallowed hard.

“I-” he began, shutting his mouth with a snap and taking a shuddering breath. “I don’t think I c-can.”

Doug’s fist clenched unconsciously, his mind racing with the thought of what he would do to that asshole if he saw him again, and he set his jaw firmly. 

“Will you let me help you?” Xavier looked up quickly, eyes bright with a small flash of fear before the dullness overtook them again. He nodded.

Pleased, Doug reached for Xavier, but a hand darted out to stop him before he could do anything to help. The smaller man grabbed Doug’s wrist, eyes looking anywhere but up at Doug. 

“I- I-” he stammered and Doug waited for him to sort out the words. “I’m sorry, I- _please_ , I don’t-”

“It will be ok,” Doug said gently, hoping he was saying the right thing. Evidently he was, because Xavier swallowed thickly and nodded, dropping his hand back down to his side. Doug carefully slid his hands under Xavier’s torso, pressing up and guiding him over onto his stomach. Xavier immediately pressed his face into the pillow, refusing to look up at Doug, and his shoulders were tensed up to what looked like the point of pain. 

Without thinking, Doug gently placed a hand on one of his shoulders and Xavier flinched.

“It’s ok,” Doug repeated, and carefully tugged the sheet off of Xavier.

Nothing _looked_ wrong, but then again, Doug didn’t know anything. He skimmed his fingers across Xavier’s lower back and the man huffed against the pillow. Doug replaced the sheets and sat on the mattress, looking at Xavier critically. 

“How do you feel?” he asked and immediately wanted to punch himself for his stupidity. Thankfully, Xavier didn’t take it the wrong way, and turned his face out a little from the pillow.

“It feels better on my stomach,” he said quietly, his accent lilting on the ‘better’ and Doug felt an urge to hold him grow strong in his chest. 

“Ok,” Doug said quietly before asking in a hesitating voice. “Would you see a doctor?”

“I-why?” Xavier replied, and Doug celebrated in his head that Xavier didn’t immediately shoot down the suggestion. 

“I just want to make sure you’re ok,” Doug answered, praying with every fiber of his being that Xavier would agree. He didn’t want to see Xavier in pain. 

“I’m-” Xavier shifted to face Doug but froze immediately with a cry of pain. His breathing was harsh and before Doug knew what he was doing, he had reached forward and gently maneuvered Xavier closer until the man was pressed against his chest.

Immediately, he felt calmer, more stable, more relaxed and it confused the hell out of him. What the fuck was this, what was going on? He didn’t know, had no way of figuring it out and he helplessly wrapped his arms around the smaller man, one at his shoulders and the other sliding down to cradle his lower back. 

“Ok,” Xavier whispered into Doug’s chest. “I’ll go.”

Doug apparently had no control over his actions at all and his hands ran through Xavier’s hair. The man stilled, completely stopped moving, and gave a shaky sigh when Doug did it again. 

“Go to sleep,” Doug urged quietly, and Xavier nodded against his chest.

-

 

Doug was awakened by a violent crash. He sat up, a little confused, and rubbed his eyes. Glancing around his room for the source of the noise, his gaze fell on the wide window. 

“Oh,” he said, mostly to himself, as an enormous flash of lightning illuminated his bedroom. He groaned at the answering thunder and dragged himself out of bed to yank the curtain over the rain-soaked window. 

With a sigh of more irritation than relief, he turned to go pass out once more among his sheets, but a small sound made him pause in curiosity. Was that-a whimper? Doug couldn’t tell and strained his ears, waiting. A roll of thunder, loud and insistent, and then- yes, that was a whimper.

Xavier?

Doug didn’t know, but his feet moved without permission and he bypassed the bed for the door. 

Xavier’s room was extremely dark. His curtains looked practically glued shut and the man in question was nothing more than a lump under what looked like every blanket he owned. Doug briefly hesitated, but the anxiety he used to experience coming in here was long gone, pushed away once he held Xavier at night.

Without really thinking about it, he was pulling the blankets back, digging around in what seemed like an actually _endless_ protective barrier for the man that he could definitely hear whimpering after each progressively louder roll of thunder. He finally got down to the sheet that Xavier clutched over him tightly. Doug didn’t have to touch the other man to know he was trembling- it was obvious even in the pitch dark- but he did it anyway, trying to let Xavier know he was here. 

He didn’t expect the flinch that had been absent for so long, nor the stifled _wail_ that he heard through- did he have a pillow over his head? Doug wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion, tilting his head and thinking hard. The only thing that was obvious was that something was clearly wrong and that he needed to be able to see Xavier. He nodded decisively before tugging the sheet firmly out of Xavier’s grip.

Xavier made a noise somewhere between a scream and a choked sob and reached up to try and take it back, only to be met with Doug’s t-shirt. Doug could see the realization being made in Xavier’s sluggish brain, and once the other man realized who was next to him, he threw his arms out, clutching desperately and breathing hard between whimpers.

Doug automatically pulled Xavier close, tucked his arms around him, ran a hand through his sweaty hair. Outside, the thunder _crashed_ , like it was it’s life mission to be as loud as fucking possible. 

Xavier actually sobbed before digging his nails into Doug’s arm, face pressed forcefully into Doug’s shoulder. Doug squeezed him gently, reaching over and bringing all of Xavier’s blankets back over them, even over Doug’s head.

_He was afraid,_ Doug realized as he ran soothing hands over Xavier’s violently trembling back, stomach, sides, keeping the other man pressed close against him. _No, he was terrified, he was terrified of the storm_ and Doug felt awful. He had no logical reason to feel bad, there was no way he could have known that Xavier had this fear, but the part of him that was always self-deprecating chided him loudly, telling him he should have _been here._

“Xavier, it’s ok,” Doug murmured quietly, trying to make his voice sound like it did when his brother talked to their little cousin who was afraid of everything. He turned his head to whisper directly into Xavier’s ear, not stopping his determined attempts to calm Xavier at least a little. “It’s ok, Xavier. It’s ok.”

“ _J’ai tellement peur, s’il te plaît faire arrêter, s’il te plaît, s’il te plaît,”_ Xavier babbled, his voice hoarse and cracking on every other word and Doug could do nothing but hold him tighter and hush him. He didn’t understand him at all, he thought _s’il te plaît_ meant please, but the rest may have well been Greek. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into Xavier’s hair, letting the other man whimper slightly and press closer as the  storm absolutely _raged_ outside. Xavier didn’t answer, just pressed his face up into Doug’s neck and try and pretend he wasn’t crying in earnest, and Doug helplessly let him cling. 

They stayed like that the rest of the night, and Doug was paralyzed, unable to breathe very well, let alone fall asleep until the storm gradually began to die and he felt Xavier’s breathing even out. He realized that the smaller man was fast asleep, still clinging to Doug like he needed him desperately.

Doug closed his eyes and slept. 

 

\--

When Doug awoke the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he could still hear the rain falling hard outside, but the thunder seemed to be absent. The second thing he noticed was that Xavier had, if it was possible, moved even closer in his sleep. His face was turned into Doug’s chest, his breathing ghosting over Doug’s skin. 

He looked a lot more peaceful than he had last night, that was for sure, and Doug gently ran a hand through the other man’s hair, laughing a little at the soft sigh it prompted. Feeling brave, Doug swallowed and ran his thumb over Xavier’s lips, chapped from biting them so much last night. Xavier mumbled in his sleep, hand clenching and unclenching Doug’s t-shirt in his hand. 

_“Doug,_ ” Xavier’s voice was sleep-hoarse and Doug could tell he was close to consciousness. Doug shushed him, knowing when Xavier woke, he’d see nothing but shame in the other’s eyes when he had nothing to be ashamed for. Xavier whined when Doug rubbed his back and sighed, turning his face away. Doug felt his eyelashes flutter against his neck and suddenly, it was _really hard to breathe._

“Huh- what?” Xavier leaned up slightly, looking around in confusion before looking back down at Doug again. “Why- _oh.”_ Realization flashed in his eyes before the mortification that Doug _hated_ began to cross his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Xavier whispered, averting his eyes and Doug groaned before tugging Xavier’s arm sharply. Xavier was surprised by the sudden movement and fell back to the bed with a small _oof._

“Stop,” Doug reprimanded gently. “There is nothing to be sorry for.” 

Xavier looked like he was ready to argue, even had his mouth open, but Doug pulled him back to where he had been lying _peacefully_ before he had wakened and Xavier went stiffly. 

“It’s ok, Xavier,” Doug reassured him, pressing a hand against Xavier’s tense back. Xavier gasped a little, and Doug continued. 

“You have nothing to feel sorry or embarrassed about, Xavier,” Doug said firmly. “It’s _ok._ I promise. Ok?”

There was a long pause before Xavier sighed shakily and nodded, relaxing suddenly back into Doug’s chest. Doug grinned, pleased, and Xavier yawned.

“Um, Doug, can- can I go back to sleep?” Xavier asked as if Doug could ever tell him no, and he tensed back up, like he expected a shove or something.

“God, Xavier, of course,” Doug replied, giving him a squeeze. “Go on.”

Doug felt Xavier smile and before long, Xavier was out again. 

-

 

Though the other man had no problems slipping back into sleep, Doug could not follow him. His mind was busy, racing around and around until Doug was practically dizzy. 

He was so confused.

This thing that was happening confused him. It seemed like someone else had assumed Xavier’s body and changed his entire attitude completely. Doug was so _confused-_ happy, yes, because Xavier’s little _pill bottles_ had mysteriously disappeared and Xavier hadn’t had one of his “friends” over in what seemed like forever- but, still. Doug was confused.

Xavier did approximately zilch to help this confusion, of course. Ever since that night that he let Doug bully his way into helping Xavier when Xavier couldn’t help himself, he wasn’t the same. He seemed- Doug wanted to say happy but there was no human being on Earth that could pull off _happy_ while acting like the biggest asshole on the planet, but Xavier was apparently built to amaze the world. 

Doug could roll with that. Xavier seemed _happy_ , and if that wasn’t enough to properly confuse Doug, Xavier no longer snapped at him, insulted him, attempted to punch him, or otherwise shut Doug out. At all. He held conversations like a normal human being- without any sort of attempt to offend the other person and without his permanent sneer across his lips.

Most importantly, at least to Doug, was that, again, Xavier hadn’t had any “friends” over for at least two months, and at first Doug was convinced it was only because he was still hurting, but as more and more time went on, Doug began to feel his endless optimism creep up on him and he was so _confused._

Confusion was apparently his default reaction to anything and everything related to Xavier, but nothing confused him more than this _feeling_ he had in his chest whenever he was around the French-Canadian, or even _thought_ about him for that matter. Whenever he thought that Xavier could possibly be hurt or sad or anything, Doug felt his chest constrict and tension build up in his muscles until he could reassure himself that Xavier was alright. 

He didn’t _understand_ and that made him frustrated, and that frustration only made the feeling grow stronger and it was a vicious cycle, really, and Doug was more than happy to blame it all on Xavier. Except he never wanted to blame _anything_ on Xavier because Xavier blamed enough on himself as it was. 

“You think very loud,” Doug felt that funny thing in his chest again when he heard Xavier’s sleepy voice. Distracted, it took him a second to figure out the words, but when he did his forehead wrinkled. 

“What?” he asked, confused, and Xavier laughed a little, wriggling closer and pressing his face further into Doug’s neck. 

“It’s an expression,” he explained. “For when you are thinking so hard that others can se it on your face.”

That only served to confuse Doug more.

“But how can you tell I’m thinking?” he asked helplessly, and he felt Xavier smile against his neck. His arms did that automatic tightening thing again and Xavier made a small noise and shifted.

“I can always tell when you are thinking,” he said quietly, not really an answer, but Doug would let that slide. He ran a hand through Xavier’s hair again, smiling when it caused Xavier to go absolutely still, committing that piece of information to memory for the next time it stormed. 

“You do, huh?”

“Yeah,” Xavier was whispering now, and Doug kept his fingers in his hair. He was waiting- for what, he wasn’t sure, but he knew he wanted Xavier to continue speaking. It was like his life depended on it.

“Doug?” Xavier asked suddenly, desperately. Doug gently squeezed him and cleared his throat.

“Yes?”

_“Je veux vous embrasser,”_ Xavier’s voice cracked on the French phrase and he ducked his face down into Doug’s shoulder like he was embarrassed by what he’d said, which was nonsense, mostly because Doug had no idea what he’d said.

Doug swallowed thickly.

“Xavier,” he said quietly. “Again, please? In English?”

“ _Non,_ ” Xavier shook his head against Doug, punctuating his refusal. “Forget about it.” 

Doug sighed.

“Please?” he asked, purposely making his voice as pleading as possible, knowing it was a shitty tactic but not caring as long as it worked.

“I-” Xavier began haltingly, not moving his head from where it was very determinedly buried. “Don’t hate me, please.”

“I could never,” Doug said honestly, and Xavier nodded.

“Ok,” he whispered, and then- “I-uh- I want to kiss you.”

Dead silence, and Doug felt Xavier’s face crumple against his skin and suddenly, everything made sense and _yes, yes, he wanted that too_. Smiling so hard he was afraid his mouth would fall off, he slid his hand to cup Xavier’s cheek and pulled him up to meet his eyes. 

Xavier looked very much like a deer caught in the headlights, and he licked his lips, eyes searching Doug’s face frantically.

“Really?” Doug asked seriously, smile slipping away for the moment and Xavier took a deep breath _and nodded._

“Then what are you waiting for?” Doug said with a lot more bravery than he really felt, but Xavier looked a little shell shocked and hope began to guardedly cross his face. He didn’t move though, still staring at Doug with wide, dark eyes, and Doug rolled his own.

“Do you need an invitation?” he demanded, cheering triumphantly inside as the words came out in an order that made sense. Xavier shook his head and suddenly he was grabbing Doug’s face in what was probably the singularly most ungraceful and unsexy act of his life, but it didn’t even matter because finally, his lips were against Doug’s and suddenly Doug couldn’t think anymore.

 

-

Xavier’s jaw was _aching_ but he didn’t care because he was kissing Doug and Doug was _kissing him back_ and everything for once seemed _perfect._

He pulled at Doug blindly, falling onto his back on the bed and urging Doug over him because _hello_ this was the best fucking way to _ever_ be kissed and Xavier felt drunk. Doug grunted when Xavier bit at his bottom lip and Doug took the hand not supporting himself to grab ahold of Xavier’s jaw and if this ever ended Xavier would probably throw a fit. 

Doug was a really good kisser, and, to be honest, Xavier had really not expected that. Well, he hadn’t expected any of this, it was more of a fantasy he thought about when he was definitely nowhere near Doug, but when he did think about it, it was definitely not featuring a Doug who was apparently a fucking God at making out. 

He hooked a leg around Doug’s back, effectively preventing him from moving anywhere, and it wasn’t until Doug’s hip pressed just this side of painful against him that Xavier realized he was hard. Really hard. He couldn’t help the low moan that escaped when Doug leaned into him, unaware of Xavier’s erection. 

He was aware now, that was for fucking sure, and Doug pressed a hand against him. Xavier’s head fell back against the pillow and he pushed his hips up shamelessly, seeking something, anything, just _more_ and Doug grinned down at him. He pushed Xavier’s legs apart and Xavier watched, biting his lip almost unconsciously until Doug leaned down and kissed him again. He whined when Doug teased his worried lip with the promise of teeth and squirmed when there was not enough anything going on. 

Without warning, Doug rocked against him and Xavier arched, panting hard and moaning again when Doug pressed onto him. Xavier reached desperately. finding Doug’s t-shirt and yanking it hard, and Doug got the message immediately, leaning back to pull it off and doing the same to Xavier. Xavier barely had time to breathe before Doug’s teeth were at his collarbone and he grabbed at the back of Doug’s head, gasping when Doug bit hard on his skin. 

Xavier tugged questioningly at Doug’s pajama pants and Doug paused turning his head to look at Xavier. His eyes held something Xavier could not name and he felt his heart absolutely sink when Doug didn’t speak for a moment. He should have known, really, and he swallowed thickly, pushing away his stupid _feelings_ because he really should have known that a guy as absolutely fucking wonderful as Doug would never want to have sex with a whore like him. 

“Xavier,” Doug said quietly, and his lips were pressed against Xavier’s again, slower, and Xavier sighed against Doug’s mouth when he pulled away slightly. 

“It’s ok,” Xavier replied, voice a little hoarse. “I understand.”

Doug blinked.

“You understand wha-” Realization flashed across his face before he shook his head frantically. “ _No,_ Xavier, not that, no. Xavier, no.”

Xavier didn’t speak, just looked up at him, confused. The ache was still in his heart, but Doug was still shaking his head and suddenly he was kissing him gently. 

“Xavier, I- I never have, before,” Doug explained haltingly, meeting Xavier’s eyes. “I haven’t and I don’t want to hurt you, I can’t hurt you.”

Xavier sighed shakily, reaching out for him and Doug tugged him into his arms, hands tangling in his hair and Xavier really, really couldn’t help the soft mewl that escaped.

“God, Xavier, I really want to,” Doug breathed. “But not if I’ll hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Xavier said quickly. “You won’t I’ll-I’ll show you how.”

His face burned with shame but Doug ducked down and kissed him hard, hands still tangled in his hair and suddenly Xavier couldn’t remember a whole lot else.

Doug tugged Xavier’s sweats down and Xavier scrambled to return the favor but Doug stilled him.

“ _Relax,”_ Doug told him, and really, Doug knew him kind of too well, but Xavier knew his face was basically an open book. Xavier lifted his hips to let Doug slide his sweats all the way off and nakedness had never felt this vulnerable to him before. Doug just looked at him for a second, an unreadable expression on his face and Xavier shuddered when Doug ran his hands down Xavier’s chest. 

“Please,” Xavier didn’t know quite what he was begging for, but Doug seemed to understand and he hurried to yank off his pajamas with zero grace but it was still the sexiest thing Xavier had ever seen and he managed to tear his eyes away for two seconds to reach towards the bedside table, the drawer, and his fingers closed around the lube and the condom. He pulled them out shakily, turning back just as Doug had gotten his boxers off and Xavier’s mouth went dry. Doug glanced up to catch Xavier’s open mouthed expression and a slightly self conscious smile spread across his lips and Xavier whimpered a bit, pushing himself up to kiss Doug shakily.

Xavier’s hands were trembling hard which was _ridiculous_ because he had done this so much but it had _never_ been like this, not even close, and Xavier was terrified of fucking it up. He pushed at Doug’s shoulder, urging him onto his back and leaning over him for another kiss. He couldn’t stay away from Doug’s lips if he tried and Doug seemed like he was afflicted with the same problem. Xavier pulled away and scooted down the bed, glancing up at Doug before sliding his lips over Doug’s really well-endowed dick.

“ _Jesusfuckingchrist_ ,” Doug groaned and Xavier grinned internally before closing his eyes and hollowing his cheeks and pressing his tongue against the underside of Doug’s dick. He glanced up and Doug was watching him with eyes that looked ten times too big and Xavier could tell he was actively trying not to thrust into Xavier’s mouth- something he seriously appreciated. He nudged his head against Doug’s hand, licking roughly up his shaft when Doug got with the program and tangled his fingers in Xavier’s hair, groaning as Xavier began bobbing his head on him. 

Xavier took him as far as he could, gagging slightly when he misjudged the size and pulled off with a slightly rough amount of suction that drew a long moan out of Doug and Xavier grinned, licking his swollen lips as he met Doug’s eyes and the other man pulled him down and kissed him fiercely until Xavier was melting and Doug managed to flip them over. 

“How?” It took Xavier a moment to process the question but when it registered, he shrugged. 

“Usually on my knees,” he answered, looking away so he didn’t have to see Doug’s face. Doug would have none of that, apparently, and grabbed his chin, making Xavier meet his eyes. 

“That’s not really how you like it, is it?” Doug asked quietly, realization crossing his face. Xavier took a couple deep breaths and shook his head. 

_Not how he liked it_ was the biggest understatement of the year, but whatever, as long as Doug got it, and Xavier reached up, trailing his hands across Doug’s cheek.  Doug tilted his face into Xavier’s hand and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Xavier’s forehead. 

“Can we....like this?” Doug asked and his face was dead serious. Xavier felt his heart stop because, um, _looking into Doug’s eyes_ was going to be just a little intense but he nodded, _yes_ , because, really, anything would be better than the way he usually did it. He reached to the side, grabbing the things he’d left at the edge of his bed and also a pillow, which he shoved unceremoniously under his hips. Doug kissed him deeply, and Xavier felt the last bit of tension drain from his body, and he pressed the lube and condom into Doug’s chest. 

He gently grabbed Doug’s fingers and coated them with lube, a slight tremor back in his hands, and gave Doug a slight push down. 

“Start with one,” he told him, voice cracking. “G-go slow, please.”

It had been a really long time since someone had prepped him with something other than quick scissoring, and when Doug slipped the first finger in, Xavier inadvertently clenched down. He took a shaky smile and kissed Doug’s cheek in reassurance. 

“Ok,” Xavier squirmed slightly. “Ok, another.”

Doug seemed to get the hang of it a bit, and in his cautious roaming, he brushed against Xavier’s spot and _fuck_ now _that_ had been a long time ago and Xavier moaned desperately, pressing down hard on Doug’s fingers, nails digging into his own palms. 

“Jesus,” Doug said, voice cracking, and Xavier forced his eyes open to look at him, and Doug looked incredibly turned on and ok, Xavier was done with this, he wanted the real show. 

“Ok, ok, ok that’s enough,” his words came out in a rush and were cut off as Doug found his prostate again and Doug leaned down and kissed the whimpers out of Xavier’s mouth. Xavier felt Doug’s fingers leave and the condom wrapper ripping. He groped around for the lube bottle and poured some in his hands, wrapping his hands around Doug and grinning at the groan he earned for his trouble. Doug batted Xavier’s hands away and lubed himself up, pausing just outside of Xavier and meeting his eyes.

“Go slow,” Xavier repeated softly and Doug kissed him like a promise before gently urging Xavier’s legs open and pushing forward, slow, and Xavier gasped helplessly at the slow burn, thighs falling open and he reached up to grasp at Doug desperately until he was all the way in.

Xavier bit his lip and breathed, adjusting around Doug. It didn’t hurt, it was more of a stretch, but Doug cupped Xavier’s cheek anyway, worry all over his face. Xavier shook his head.

“Just hang on,” he mumbled, belatedly realizing how tight he must be, and cracked an eye open to admire Doug’s hooded eyes before running his nails down Doug’s chest. 

“Go,” he whispered and Doug grinned slightly and obeyed, thrusting gently and shallowly until Xavier was gasping, writhing, begging.

“More, go, _please,_ ” he moaned and to his utter delight, Doug listened and deepened his thrusts until he glanced off Xavier’s prostate and Xavier cried out, clutching at Doug’s shoulders, a slew of French leaving his mouth until even he had no idea what he was saying beyond _Doug, Doug, s’il te plaît, s’il te plaît!_

Doug shuddered above him, leaning down and kissing him deeply and Xavier reached down and it only took two good pulls before he was coming all over Doug’s stomach with a loud cry. Doug collapsed gently on top of him, breathing hard into Xavier’s hair, pressing his lips to Xavier’s sweaty cheek. 

Xavier wrinkled his nose as Doug pulled out and the other man laughed at him, pulling off the condom and tying it before heaving himself off the bed to toss it away and grab his shirt, coming back to wipe them off with a mutter of _gross._

Xavier immediately wrapped himself around Doug, sleepiness overtaking him. He felt Doug run his fingers through his hair again and damnit if that didn’t make him just want to press closer. Thankfully, Doug obliged, pulling him to rest against him chest and covering them both, arms secure around Xavier.

Xavier inhaled, pressing his lips against Doug’s neck and closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Doug grunted.

“For what?” he asked and Xavier smiled. 

“Everything,” he shrugged, and Doug’s kiss was the only answer he needed.


End file.
